"Turning Down the Noise: The Art of Active Listening"

"Turning Down the Noise: The Art of Active Listening"

We’ve all been there—someone is talking to us, but we’re not really listening. I know I’ve struggled with this too. There’s a difference between active listening and subjective listening, and understanding this can change the way we communicate with others.

Think about it: you’re in your living room, the TV is on, the vacuum is running, the kids are yelling, and someone’s trying to have a serious conversation with you. You might hear them, but you’re not really listening. There’s just too much noise. I’ve missed things in conversations this way—distracted by my own thoughts or the chaos around me. And sometimes, I’ve been guilty of interrupting someone before they’ve even finished speaking, not because I didn’t care, but because I thought I knew how to "fix" the problem.

This is subjective listening—listening through the filter of our own thoughts, judgments, and distractions. It’s like trying to hold a conversation with all that noise in the background—you catch parts of it, but you miss the full message.

Active listening, on the other hand, is like turning off the TV, setting the vacuum aside, and giving the person your full attention. It’s about focusing on what they’re saying, not just with your ears, but with your mind and heart. It means holding back your urge to respond or to "fix" things and instead, really hearing the other person out.

Here are a few ways we can practice active listening:

1. Eliminate distractions: Just like you would turn off the vacuum to hear someone better, we need to quiet the distractions in our minds. Take a deep breath before responding, and if you’re on your phone, make a conscious effort to put it down and focus.

2. Listen to understand, not respond: Rather than preparing your answer while the other person is still talking, try focusing on their words and feelings. It’s about understanding their message before jumping in with a solution.

3. Ask clarifying questions: If something isn’t clear, ask for clarification. This helps deepen your understanding and shows the person that you’re truly engaged.

4. Provide feedback: A nod, eye contact, or a simple 'I hear you' can make a big difference. It reassures the speaker that you’re invested in what they have to say.

5. Set boundaries: It’s okay to need a moment to process or revisit the conversation later. Saying, 'I need a minute to think about this' or 'Let’s come back to this when I’m in a better place to listen' can be a way to maintain respect in the conversation.

By practicing active listening and creating space for healthy boundaries, we can make sure that both parties feel heard and respected. It’s something I’m working on myself—learning to take a breath, listen fully, and not rush in to fix everything.

With care and compassion,
Catherine Harlan
Founder of Sparrows of Hope