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Supporting Your Daughter After Sexual Assault: A Guide for Fathers

As a father, nothing feels more heartbreaking than seeing your daughter in pain. When your daughter has experienced sexual assault, your first instinct may be to protect her, fix the situation, or even seek justice on her behalf. However, her healing process requires a different kind of strength—one rooted in patience, understanding, and unwavering support.

Here’s how you can support your daughter through this challenging time:

1. Be Her Protector, Not Her Fixer

Your natural instinct as a father might be to take action and solve the problem, but sexual assault is a trauma that can’t be “fixed.” What your daughter needs most is someone who will stand by her side as she works through the emotions and healing. Instead of trying to take control, let her know: “I’m here for whatever you need, and I will walk this road with you.” Offering your presence and support will mean more than any solution you can offer.

2. Let Her Lead the Conversation

It’s normal to want to ask questions or get details about what happened, but your daughter may not be ready to talk or relive the experience. Avoid pushing her to open up before she’s ready. Let her know you’re available whenever she wants to talk, and follow her lead. A simple, “I’m here to listen whenever you want to share,” can reassure her that you’re a safe place without adding pressure.

3. Manage Your Emotions

You may feel an intense range of emotions—anger, sadness, helplessness—and that’s understandable. However, try to keep these emotions in check when you’re with your daughter. She may already be overwhelmed by her own feelings, and seeing you in distress could add to her burden. Instead, let her know that your focus is on her healing. If you need to process your emotions, consider talking to a trusted friend or counselor.

4. Respect Her Space and Autonomy

After trauma, many survivors feel a loss of control over their own lives. One way you can help your daughter regain her sense of control is by giving her space and respecting her decisions. Whether it’s decisions about therapy, returning to daily routines, or who she confides in, your role is to support her choices. This doesn’t mean you can’t offer guidance—just make sure it’s framed as an option, not a directive.

5. Affirm Her Strength

Sexual assault can leave survivors feeling vulnerable and powerless. As her father, one of the most powerful things you can do is remind your daughter of her inner strength. You can say things like, “I see how strong and courageous you are, even when you’re struggling.” By affirming her resilience, you’re helping her rebuild her confidence and sense of self.

6. Educate Yourself

It’s important to recognize that sexual assault can have long-term emotional and psychological effects. Take the time to educate yourself on trauma, how it affects survivors, and what resources are available. Understanding more about what she’s going through can help you be a better source of support. Look into trauma-informed counseling, support

With compassion and hope ,

Kathe'rine