Walking in Faith: How a Christian Boyfriend Can Support His Girlfriend Through Healing After Sexual Trauma

Oct 10, 2024

Dear friend,

When someone you love has gone through the deep pain of sexual trauma, it can be overwhelming to know how best to support them. As a Christian, you may feel especially called to be a source of comfort, grace, and understanding in your girlfriend’s journey toward healing. Your love and faith can help her feel supported, but it’s important to approach this in a way that honors both her needs and the process of recovery.

Let’s explore how you can walk alongside your girlfriend in her healing while leaning on God for wisdom and strength.

1. Pray Together and Lean on God’s Strength

One of the most powerful things you can do is invite God into your relationship and ask Him to guide both of you through this difficult season. You don’t have to have all the answers, and that’s okay—because God does. Pray for your girlfriend’s healing, for wisdom in how to support her, and for peace in her heart as she navigates this trauma.

When the time feels right, you might suggest praying together:

"Would it be okay if we prayed together for healing and strength? I believe God can help us walk through this together."

"I know God is with you through this pain, and I’ll be here too, praying for His comfort and guidance."

Your faith can be a source of encouragement for both of you as you seek healing through God’s love and grace.

2. Show Christ-like Patience and Compassion

The Bible teaches us to "bear one another’s burdens" (Galatians 6:2), and supporting someone through trauma requires Christ-like patience. Healing is not a quick process, and there will be moments when your girlfriend may struggle with feelings of fear, anger, or confusion. It’s crucial that you remain patient and compassionate, just as Christ shows compassion to us.

Be a reflection of Christ’s love by offering understanding without judgment. When she’s feeling vulnerable, remind her that:

"God’s love is greater than any pain, and I’m here to walk through this with you."

"There’s no timeline for your healing. We’ll take it one step at a time, and I’ll be here every step of the way."

Your patience in those moments will reassure her that she’s not a burden, and that your love is steady and unwavering.

3. Respect Her Boundaries and Give Her Space to Heal

After experiencing sexual trauma, it can be difficult for survivors to feel safe in their own bodies again. As her boyfriend, it’s important that you honor her boundaries, especially when it comes to physical affection. Healing from trauma means letting her regain control over her body and her sense of safety.

Be open and clear in your support:

"I want you to feel safe, and I respect whatever boundaries you need."

"We’ll take things as slow as you need. Your comfort is what matters most."

By giving her the space to heal at her own pace, you show her that your relationship is rooted in respect and unconditional love.

4. Encourage Her to Seek Godly Counseling

As much as you want to be her primary source of support, professional help is often necessary for deep healing. Encourage her to seek Christian counseling or therapy where she can process her trauma with someone trained in both trauma recovery and faith-based approaches.

You might say:

"I’ve heard that counseling can be really helpful. Maybe we could find someone who can offer guidance rooted in faith."

"Whenever you feel ready, I’ll support you in finding a Christian counselor who can help you heal."

Offering to help her find resources shows that you’re invested in her long-term healing without pushing her before she’s ready.

5. Use Scripture to Uplift Her

The Word of God can be a powerful tool for healing. Sharing encouraging scriptures that reflect God’s love and protection can provide comfort to your girlfriend in times of distress. Verses like Psalm 34:18 ("The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit") can remind her that she’s not alone in her pain.

You might gently offer to read scripture together or write down verses that have brought you comfort in tough times:

"I found this verse and thought it might bring you some peace: 'When you pass through the waters, I will be with you' (Isaiah 43:2). I believe God is with you now, walking through this with you."

"Would it be okay if we read the Bible together? I think it could help us find strength in God’s promises."

Incorporating faith into her healing process can remind her of God’s constant presence and His promise to restore what’s been broken.

6. Trust in God’s Timing for Healing

Healing from sexual trauma is a journey, and it can be a long one. It’s important to remember that God’s timing is perfect, even when it feels like healing is taking longer than expected. Trust that God is working in her heart, and continue to be a steady source of support.

When the path feels uncertain, you can encourage her by saying:

"I know healing takes time, but I believe God is working in ways we can’t always see."

"Let’s trust God’s plan for this healing process. I’m praying for His peace and comfort for you."

Your faith in God’s timing will help reassure her that there’s no rush, and that healing will come when the time is right.

7. Be Her Partner, Not Her Savior

As much as you want to take away the pain, it’s important to remember that you are her partner, not her savior. Only God can truly heal her heart, but you can walk with her through this process with love, grace, and understanding. By being there for her, praying with her, and respecting her boundaries, you create a safe space for her healing to unfold.

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Final Thoughts

Supporting your girlfriend through the healing of sexual trauma is no small task, but with faith, patience, and Christ-like love, you can help her feel seen, heard, and cherished. Remember that healing is a journey, and as her boyfriend, your role is to walk with her, hand in hand, trusting in God’s ultimate plan for her restoration.

May God bless you as you support her through this time, offering comfort, encouragement, and love as she heals in His grace.

With love and faith,

Kathe'rine

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