When Setbacks Feel Like Starting Over: Cleansing and Creating a New Mask

Mar 14, 2026

Hey friend,

You know, I was thinking a lot about something that we don’t often talk about, especially in the journey of healing from trauma. Sometimes, we feel like we’ve made so much progress, and then—out of nowhere—a flashback hits, or we feel ourselves slipping back into old emotions, like we’re starting all over again.

It’s tough. It can feel like you’ve taken two steps forward, but now you’re feeling like you’ve taken ten steps back. Trust me, I get it. Healing isn’t a straight line—it’s more like a winding road with some unexpected bumps along the way.

But here’s the thing: those setbacks don’t define your progress. You are not going backwards; you’re learning to navigate and respond to those difficult moments with more strength than before. It’s just part of the process, and while it may feel frustrating, it doesn’t erase all the work you’ve done.

Let’s talk about something that might help explain this—facials. You know, when you put on a face mask to cleanse your skin? It’s a ritual to refresh, to clear away all the dirt and stress that builds up over time. When we go through tough moments, emotional or otherwise, it’s like our minds and hearts need a cleansing too. The flashbacks or emotions that come up may feel like they’re clouding your sense of progress. But just like you would cleanse your face to feel renewed, you can cleanse your heart and mind of those negative, overwhelming feelings too.

The Mask We Wear

And then there’s the mask. So often, we wear a mask to protect ourselves. We put on a face that says, “I’m okay,” even when we don’t feel okay inside. It’s a survival mechanism—something we do to shield ourselves from the world, or to try to prevent judgment from others.

But sometimes, we can get stuck wearing that mask for too long. And it doesn’t always protect us; sometimes, it keeps us hidden from the truth of what we’re feeling. We don’t need to wear that mask of shame anymore. We don’t need to hide behind it, pretending that everything is perfect, when inside we might be struggling. It’s okay to take off that mask and be vulnerable, especially when we’re experiencing those emotional setbacks.

Creating a New Mask: One of Healing, Strength, and Grace

Here’s the truth, my friend: you get to decide the mask you wear. Even when the weight of trauma feels heavy, you can choose to wear a new mask—not one of shame, but one that shows your healing, your strength, and your grace.

Maybe it’s not a physical mask you put on, but a new approach to how you deal with those emotions. Think of this mask as a symbol of how you want to face the world even after a setback—how you can move forward with hope, even in the midst of difficulty. You may need to take things slow, you may need to take a break, and that’s okay. But remember, healing doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means you’re growing, and it’s all part of the journey.

A Friendly Reminder: Setbacks Aren’t Failures

So if you’re feeling like you’ve hit a wall or are struggling with something from the past, don’t see it as starting over. You’re still moving forward. Just like that fresh facial treatment you give yourself, it’s okay to clean off the emotional buildup and start again—no shame, no judgment.

It’s a new day, a new moment. The past is in the past. What matters now is how you respond—and choosing to put on a mask of healing instead of one of shame. When you face those setbacks, remind yourself that you're still healing, still growing, and you are still worthy of all the goodness that’s ahead.

If the emotional weight ever feels too heavy or those setbacks are hard to process on your own, please know it’s okay to reach out. Counseling can be a safe space to work through those feelings and process the trauma with someone who can support you. If seeing a counselor isn’t an option right now, there are amazing community-based programs and resources available to help you. Don’t hesitate to reach out to others—you don’t have to carry this burden alone.

If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). They’re there to support you.

You’re not alone in this.

With love and gr

ace,

Your friend at Sparrows of Hope