How Christian Couples Can Prepare for Sexual Intimacy After an Assault: Pre-Care, Aftercare, and Self-Check-Ins

Oct 12, 2024

Introduction:

When sexual intimacy follows the trauma of an assault, it can be a delicate and challenging journey for both partners. For Christian couples, the healing process may also involve their faith, prayer, and a deep reliance on God's guidance. This blog will explore how couples can lovingly prepare for intimacy after an assault through pre-care, aftercare, and self-check-ins for the survivor.

1. Pre-Care: How Couples Can Prepare Together

Communication is Key: Before engaging in any physical intimacy, it’s important for couples to have honest, vulnerable conversations. Both partners need to create a space where the survivor feels safe to express her fears, desires, and boundaries without judgment. The spouse can listen actively, offering empathy and understanding.

Faith-Based Support: Christian couples can draw strength from prayer, asking for God’s wisdom to guide their physical relationship. Scripture can remind them that intimacy is a gift from God, and through His grace, healing is possible.

Some helpful scriptures:

Song of Solomon 2:16: “My beloved is mine, and I am his.” This passage can remind couples that intimacy is part of their connection.

Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." A verse of encouragement for both partners to lean on Christ.

Setting Boundaries: Both partners need to set clear boundaries. Survivors may not feel comfortable with certain types of touch initially, and that’s okay. Communicating those limits with love ensures that both individuals can feel emotionally and physically safe.

2. Aftercare: How Couples Can Support Each Other After Intimacy

Emotional Check-In: After intimacy, it’s vital to check in emotionally. The survivor might feel overwhelmed by memories or emotions. Creating a space for open conversation about how both partners are feeling is key to healing.

Questions for couples to ask each other:

"How are you feeling emotionally after this experience?"

"Was there anything that felt triggering, and how can we navigate that together next time?"

Gentle Reassurance: Survivors may need reassurance after intimacy, reminding them that they are loved, valued, and safe. Small gestures like cuddling, praying together, or even simply holding hands can go a long way.

Pray Together: Aftercare can include prayer. Asking for peace, healing, and emotional strength from God can help both partners feel more connected not only to each other but to their faith. Let God’s presence be a part of the healing after intimacy.

3. Self-Care: How the Survivor Can Check In With Herself

Journaling: Writing down how she feels before and after intimacy can help the survivor reflect on her emotions and process her experiences. It also helps her identify patterns, like what triggers her and what brings her peace.

Grounding Techniques: Survivors can use grounding exercises to help them stay present and connected to their bodies during intimate moments. Deep breathing or reciting a favorite scripture can help remind her that she is safe in the moment.

Listening to Her Body: It’s important for the survivor to listen to her body. If she feels discomfort or anxiety, it’s okay to pause and take a break. Her body has experienced trauma, and healing takes time. By checking in with herself regularly, she can understand when she feels ready to move forward.

Prayer and Reflection: The survivor can ask God for guidance in her healing journey. She can pray for wisdom, emotional healing, and the courage to trust her spouse. Reflection through prayer can offer her a sense of peace and assurance in this journey.

4. How the Survivor Can Help Herself in the Process

Give Herself Grace: Healing is not linear, and survivors must give themselves grace throughout the journey. It’s okay if things aren’t perfect or if setbacks occur. Remind herself of God’s unconditional love and her worth in His eyes.

Seek Counseling: If needed, professional Christian counseling can provide both the survivor and her spouse with tools to navigate this journey in a healthy and faith-centered way.

Empower Herself: Survivors can empower themselves by trusting their instincts and not pushing themselves before they are ready. Healing at her own pace is essential. She can also remind herself of her strength and resilience.

Conclusion:

For Christian couples, intimacy after an assault requires patience, understanding, and a foundation built on faith. By practicing pre-care, aftercare, and checking in emotionally and spiritually, couples can navigate this sensitive time together. Most importantly, survivors must give themselves the time, grace, and support needed for true healing. God walks with both partners on this journey, and through Him, healing is always possible.

With hope and compassion,

Kathe'rine